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BABY SMURF RETURNS WITH A BOLD STATEMENT

 by RICKY RICARDO ODARCIR:

THE POPULAR BABY FROM THE 1980S HIT CARTOON THE SMURFS HAVE RETURNED 40 YEARS LATER AS "ADULT" SMURF WITH SOME BOLD ALLEGATIONS ABOUT THE OFTEN GENTLE AND GOOD HEARTED LEADERS OF THE SMURFS: PAPA SMURF

ACCORDING TO ADULT SMURF BKA BABY SMURF, WHILE PAPA SMURF INITALLY MADE CLAIMS THAT ALL THE SMURFS CREATED BABY SMURF, A RECENT PATERNITY TEST PROVED THAT PAPA SMURF IS THE ONE AND ONLY "PAPA" OF BABY SMURF. ADULT SMURF ALSO STATED THAT PAPA SMURF MAY BE THE FATHER FOR  OTHER SMURFS WITH THE EXCEPTION OF SMURFETTE. WHO ALSO CONFIRMED THAT SHE IS HIS MOTHER. ADULT SMURF STATED THAT EVERYTHING WASN'T GOOD SINCE THE BEGINNING

BEFORE THE OTHER SMURFS FOUND OUT ABOUT HIS BABY WITH SMURFETTE, PAPA SMURF ALLEDGELY ATTEMPTED TO THROW THE BABY OVER A CLIFF, BUT CHANGED HIS MIND AND THOUGHT THROWING HIM IN THE RIVER WOULD BE BETTER. WHILE AT THE RIVER, PAPA SMURF HAD A CHANGE OF HEART AND DECIDED TO KEEP THE BABY SMURF. PAPA SMURF USING THE GIFT OF GAB CONVINCED THE OTHER SMURF THAT THEYALL TOOK PLACE IN THE CREATION OF THE BABY..EXCEPT FOR VANITY. AS BABY GREW UP, HE REALIZED, THAT MADE NO GHOTDAMN SENSE AND DID SOME RESEARCH. FINDING OUT PAPA WAS HIS PAPA. BABY HAS PLANS TO TAKE OVER SMURFLAND AS THE NEW PAPA SMURF WHILE PAPA SMURF GOES TO SMURF PRISON FOR UNPAID BACK CHILD SUPPORT. PAPA SMURF HAS YET TO COMMENT ON THE ALLEGATIONS.

(sources: anonymous) 

JULIUS RANDLE OF THE NY KNICKS

BY NAZTURD MCTUCKETTE